rude awakening.

I hate to feed the stereotype that girls are self conscious about their weight.. but this is gonna be one of THOSE entries.

I had a rude awakening looking through our spring break pictures because when I looked through them, i was like "When did I get so fat?!" And no, I'm not those girls who are skinny and have great bodies and think they're fat. I seriously... am not cute. HAHAH.

Looking through those pictures my face is definitely pudgy, my used-to-be-there jawline is now as extinct as t-rex... and the list goes on!

One of the problems with me and my weight is that... I can never really tell when I gain or lose weight. It has to be really dramatic like when my homecoming dress slipped right off of me, or lets say if I couldn't button a pair of pants (hasnt happened yet!). Sigh this brings me back to the days when it was just so damn easy to lose weight.

I remember when my boyfriend in high school broke up with me, I was so depressed, I barely ate. (sad but true!) The pounds just melted off of me! Of course, I never noticed this until the whole homecoming dress incident...

Now you try and cut back a little and you can't even see a difference. You slip a little bit and you definitely notice a difference. Oh how I miss my youthful, quick metabolism. Anyway, now it's crunch time. This cannot be my reality! hahaha

Anyway, I'm really going to try now, because I am not cute. And that is not okay!

Gym at 7am, fighting!
Teresa.

lessons learned

I'm telling myself not to jump to conclusions, not to get ahead of myself.. but it's so hard not to, especially when I like to daydream instead of being productive studying for finals..

You know how everyone's all talking about how you need to learn from our mistakes so we're not doomed to repeat them? Well what if the lessons you learn hinder you from new experiences?

For example, you were in a really crappy relationship. The guy was a jerk and treated you like shit, and so after that relationship you were always really cautious about the other boys you encountered.. like a defense mechanism. So lesson learned was that boys are lame, and you just gotta watch out!
Then, after the bad relationship, you meet a great guy. and i mean GREAT. But, because of your previous experience, you decide to end this "relationship" prematurely, to prevent the sucky feelings you had at the end of the last relationship. But... what happens if that great guy is the right one? And you totally just pushed him out?

So I guess the question is.. how do you know when to ignore your past lessons? I guess you could say that another lesson learned from the 2nd boy was that you can't be too defensive... you just gotta try?

I guess I'll just find out. :)

I'll keep you guys posted,
Teresa

herros!

Yet ANOTHER blog. I have so many blogs at so many different sites it'd be a chore to name them. Here's another one to add to the list... sometimes its just nice having a place to spill out whats going on in your head. It's supposed to be stress relieving! I'd imagine it's like in Harry Potter where they retrieve the memory out of your head and into the pensieve, so it's no longer bothering you in the confines of your mind.

I don't know how people can manage multiple blogs. I'm trying to decide if I should just "fuse" my 'makeup blog' with this one.. but then at times it's embarrassing, and what if regular readers (if i have any) don't care for the makeup stuff?

Anyway, this weekend my sister and I went to Crawdaddy (2nd weekend in a row!) only cos the wait & line at boiling crab is just absolutely ridiculous! They have an amazing aquarium in the front which kept me amused for a good 15 minutes. It was those super cool ones that look like a scene from Finding Nemo. There were anemones and little nemos, and dorys and everything! It was so funny when we saw a black clown fish, I pointed to it and said "look a black one!" then me and my sister looked at each other and said "NINJA!". Totally cracked me up. Although we definitely butt heads at times, i'm glad we see eye-to-eye most times and are getting together just swimmingly (har har har).

D'aawww. Enough with the sentimental stuffs. I can't believe its already 3:45 (technically its 2:45) but there goes my hour of sleep. I already don't get enough.. so I guess it's time to cut this short. I have work in the morning and then most likely an all-nighter tomorrow to study for my final.

Good luck everyone on your finals!

xoxo,
Teresa