dealbreaker.

Oh hai! LOL. I hate hate HATE bugs with a passion but this picture cracks me up. How does someone even get a picture like this? Seriously?

So, today was a very accomplished day pour moi just because I went to my 8am class! It's pretty funny because I went out and consumed sweet nothings that came in liquid form (gotta stay PG).. and went to sleep really late! Somehow, I managed to drag my butt out of bed and go to class, AND stay awake AND take legible notes. HOllaa! It's just so weird because... the probability of me attending this class have been slowly decreasing as time increases. OH well! I promised myself that next week, I really need to crack down on going to my classes, going to the gym (i took a hiatus last week cos of midterms.. excuses, I know!), and really knuckling down on the studying. I mean business here!

Anyway, I was thinking about dealbreakers today while walking home from my class..and I was thinking what are some dealbreakers for some of you? Mine was always no drugs... no smoking. That was like one of the BIGGEST ones. EVAR. Theres probably others, but that was a main one. Now that I think of it, a lot of my relationships... kinda failed cos of this dealbreaker.

My first boyfriend ever AKA i-thought-he-was-the-love-of-my-life boyfriend, we broke up because of that. It's funny because.. he actually broke up with me because he felt so so so bad... and I was willing to overlook it and work things out (oh what we do when we're in lust).
Then comes this guy I dated for 2 years! After high school... and he just loved to go to raves and do E too much. It wasn't the reason why we broke up.. but it definitely contributed. We would always argue about it and he said that i was being unreasonable, that it'd be near impossible to be clean and straightedge. But yep.. that was the end of that one.

Now there's a sorta kinda new interest. BUt.. he smokes weed. -__- (maybe it really IS impossible to find someone, jk, read down more). Now the question is.. is that a deal breaker? I'm not sure now. Maybe I've given up, or maybe i think that we're young and go through this phase of doing things and experimenting, and that it'll go away eventually? I guess I'm considering this new outlook, looking back at past relationships that kinda died because of this one requirement of mine... anyway, we'll see.

However, i DO know someone who is straightedge. He is SO NICE. and I would be all up on that.. if he didn't have a girlfriend. Noted, he is younger, maybe thats why it's easier? Because i was definitely like that when I was younger "OMG no drugs, no drinking. No smoking!" but as you get older... things become more accessible, life gets a littllee more stressful and there are these things to "help" with the stress. BUT, the moral of this story is that there ARE people out there who don't do such things.

Anyway, time to watch this weeks episode of vampire diaries.. and then back home it is for le weekend!

Have a lovely day <3

quick update

I'm glad to say ever since my rude awakening, I've been going to the gym almost everyday, except for weekends, and those 2 days where I didn't get that stupid sticker for my ID card to show i'm a current student hehe. Hopefully it'll make a difference! Although I'm not disciplined enough to eat super healthily, i cant help it, me and my friends love food!

It's almost 5am, and I have class at 8! FML! But i just felt like updating cos I haven't in awhile. I was up tonight because around 2am everyone was especially talkative todaay and I really enjoyed talking to some of my very close friends! :) It really makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, no joke when we have intense conversations or if they confide in me.

Anyway, I should really get to bed after this SVU episode, also intense!

rude awakening.

I hate to feed the stereotype that girls are self conscious about their weight.. but this is gonna be one of THOSE entries.

I had a rude awakening looking through our spring break pictures because when I looked through them, i was like "When did I get so fat?!" And no, I'm not those girls who are skinny and have great bodies and think they're fat. I seriously... am not cute. HAHAH.

Looking through those pictures my face is definitely pudgy, my used-to-be-there jawline is now as extinct as t-rex... and the list goes on!

One of the problems with me and my weight is that... I can never really tell when I gain or lose weight. It has to be really dramatic like when my homecoming dress slipped right off of me, or lets say if I couldn't button a pair of pants (hasnt happened yet!). Sigh this brings me back to the days when it was just so damn easy to lose weight.

I remember when my boyfriend in high school broke up with me, I was so depressed, I barely ate. (sad but true!) The pounds just melted off of me! Of course, I never noticed this until the whole homecoming dress incident...

Now you try and cut back a little and you can't even see a difference. You slip a little bit and you definitely notice a difference. Oh how I miss my youthful, quick metabolism. Anyway, now it's crunch time. This cannot be my reality! hahaha

Anyway, I'm really going to try now, because I am not cute. And that is not okay!

Gym at 7am, fighting!
Teresa.

lessons learned

I'm telling myself not to jump to conclusions, not to get ahead of myself.. but it's so hard not to, especially when I like to daydream instead of being productive studying for finals..

You know how everyone's all talking about how you need to learn from our mistakes so we're not doomed to repeat them? Well what if the lessons you learn hinder you from new experiences?

For example, you were in a really crappy relationship. The guy was a jerk and treated you like shit, and so after that relationship you were always really cautious about the other boys you encountered.. like a defense mechanism. So lesson learned was that boys are lame, and you just gotta watch out!
Then, after the bad relationship, you meet a great guy. and i mean GREAT. But, because of your previous experience, you decide to end this "relationship" prematurely, to prevent the sucky feelings you had at the end of the last relationship. But... what happens if that great guy is the right one? And you totally just pushed him out?

So I guess the question is.. how do you know when to ignore your past lessons? I guess you could say that another lesson learned from the 2nd boy was that you can't be too defensive... you just gotta try?

I guess I'll just find out. :)

I'll keep you guys posted,
Teresa

herros!

Yet ANOTHER blog. I have so many blogs at so many different sites it'd be a chore to name them. Here's another one to add to the list... sometimes its just nice having a place to spill out whats going on in your head. It's supposed to be stress relieving! I'd imagine it's like in Harry Potter where they retrieve the memory out of your head and into the pensieve, so it's no longer bothering you in the confines of your mind.

I don't know how people can manage multiple blogs. I'm trying to decide if I should just "fuse" my 'makeup blog' with this one.. but then at times it's embarrassing, and what if regular readers (if i have any) don't care for the makeup stuff?

Anyway, this weekend my sister and I went to Crawdaddy (2nd weekend in a row!) only cos the wait & line at boiling crab is just absolutely ridiculous! They have an amazing aquarium in the front which kept me amused for a good 15 minutes. It was those super cool ones that look like a scene from Finding Nemo. There were anemones and little nemos, and dorys and everything! It was so funny when we saw a black clown fish, I pointed to it and said "look a black one!" then me and my sister looked at each other and said "NINJA!". Totally cracked me up. Although we definitely butt heads at times, i'm glad we see eye-to-eye most times and are getting together just swimmingly (har har har).

D'aawww. Enough with the sentimental stuffs. I can't believe its already 3:45 (technically its 2:45) but there goes my hour of sleep. I already don't get enough.. so I guess it's time to cut this short. I have work in the morning and then most likely an all-nighter tomorrow to study for my final.

Good luck everyone on your finals!

xoxo,
Teresa